[After dropping a container of blueberries all over the floor] 8 y/o: See! Great British Bake Off but you pair every contestant with a 3-year-old who really wants to help. I made my bed and found a half eaten stick of butter in it. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Giving up the gift of sight is crazy , Indian parents on Easter be like, look the bunny brought you some math worksheets, Thrilled to announce that instead of saying What are you doing? my 2-year-old child goes around asking, in a tiny haunting voice, What have you done?, My kid just learned uh oh spaghettios but he keeps forgetting and is yelling oh no noodles instead. Stories that matter to you. Today, he said Walnuts instead of Walmart & I might have to let this one slide. The fact that my 8 year old farted in my face RIGHT after I told him that Id had a terrible day has me thinking that all those fairytales about parents leaving their kids in the woods may have actually been true stories. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Felt like wallowing in self pity today so I googled the net worth of my kids favorite YouTuber. My 3 yr old asked if He could play with some cock & balls. Just looked around at their stuff. Part of HuffPost Parenting. News, Politics, Culture, Life, Entertainment, and more. I used the old I gave birth to you on my daughter, she said That was one time. This included the white fairy dust (baking soda). pic.twitter.com/OKw7fXDuXc. No one: My 8yo on the 3rd of January: So what are we doing for Halloween? Im leaning toward nervous breakdown, but open to ideas. She is 13 going on 14 and she will be watching that content until she goes to college. Then in an awestruck voice he said, "I have a skeleton. His prescription glasses that he cannot see without. We're bringing back the best tweets of the week. And if you love what you read, be sure to like and follow these Twitter users for an A+ timeline. Whether you want to laugh on your way to work, send a meme or two to a friend . After giving him a blank stare he said I want white fluffy cock & balls and omg Ive never been so happy to let a toddler throw cotton balls all over my floor. Someday, God willing, I will attend my childrens weddings, refuse to eat what they serve and demand butter noodles and nuggets. I cant stop laughing. My 5 yo lost her first tooth and wanted to bring her tooth fairy swag to school to flex on her friends. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My teens' rooms have literally become the Bermuda Triangle for our dishes and cutlery. Obsessed with travel? You now tell the people behind you in mini golf to play through.. 4 says all these cars are in line for gas. She already knows way too much about the apocalypse. Him: you know too much of my personal business. Caroline Bologna. My son was disappointed to realize that the US team was playing a country called Wales and not a large group of whales in what I guess he imagined to be a large soccer-seaworld extravaganza. Just heard my 4 year old say "it's time to milk the farm dog" and my 2 yo squeal "YEAH" and I better go see what they're doing, I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older and she laughed so hard she cried a little, Me: I'm struggling with some demons todayWife: I thought I told you to stop calling our kids that. When my daughter was 7 years-old she once interrupted a bedtime story to tell me, In a pie-eating contest, it doesnt matter if you win or lose because you get to eat pie. I think about that a lot. Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice. Well, school is now officially out for many moms and dads, and will soon be out for the rest of us, so time to buckle up and see if you've got a few extra hundred thousand dollars lying around for summer camp. I told him his birthday and the exact time of birth. Now that 2022 is coming to an end, it's time to spotlight the most hilarious tweets of them all. My child is disappointed to learn that I, a burn surgeon, have never treated someone for a lava-related injury. 6: why does J have two mommies?Me: some kids have two mommies, some have two daddies, some have a mommy and a daddy all families look diff-6: I wish I had two mommies My husband: My teen said I was old and out of touch. Search, watch, and cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place! I told him to eat my shorts cause that's hella whack home skillet. my child, about to be shook. So I googled a crepe recipe, made a crepe even though I never have before. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. I told my 2yo I was coming to his preschool holiday party and he looked really worried and said, but what chair will you sit in? Glad to know anxiety about literally nothing is genetic. Itll just take a second!. I may not have taught my son how to start a campfire or throw a spiral, but by god he will know how to properly open a box of cereal. Follow me for more parenting tips. You're hopeful at first, but then just end up repeating yourself and yelling. 8 yo, singing quietly to himself "dancing queen, young and sweet, only seven teeth". 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved.
Grandparents are so wild. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Thinking about the time my 3yo forgot the name for chicken nuggets and called them orange meat cookies. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Apparently my kid got in trouble today for PACKING OUR TOASTER IN HIS BACKPACK and pulling it out at lunch to make pop tarts for his class. 4yo: Mom found this house and no one was home there, so we just went in.Him: You just went in?4yo: Yeah. My 4yo went through my phone and confronted me like I cheated on her, "you took a lot of pictures of this baby". Here Are The Funniest Tweets Of The Week. "Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice". ". Felt very proud that my 10 yr old researched the history and culture of a Bavarian town we were visiting this weekend until she went on to speak in a German accent throughout our stay. ", thoughts and prayers for my daughter who misunderstood evolution and is now mourning that she didnt morph from a kitten, Parenting little kids is mostly screaming "What the fuck!" last night I told my four year old I loved her and she said I love you so much that if someone chopped your head off Id carry it around forever in a bag, There is a lot to process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad. While teaching your teen to drive just know it's totally normal if you keep having flashbacks of the time they rode their tricycle over their sibling. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. "'Is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food?' To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Of course she didnt listen & when she fell, I was like exactly. (that was a week ago) This morning, I tripped over my charger and she yelled EXACTLY! How do you plan to celebrate? Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning. My 5yo asked me if we could go to someone elses house because he says we go to our house a lot. One of yall sons has a crush on my daughter and gave her his glasses today. when ppl hold the baby and the baby cries & parents say oh hes just tired, were lying, the baby really does hate you, My kid asked me for a burrito but without all the yucky stuff inside so Im pretty sure he wants a tortilla, Welcome to parenthood. My 7 yo just asked ME when was his birthdate. pic.twitter.com/dSrcdSxB6S, Is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food? - my child, about to be shook, I asked my 3 yr old to stop running through the house. when ppl hold the baby and the baby cries & parents say oh hes just tired, were lying, the baby really does hate you.
So, I sent my kid into preschool with a little bag of white powder for show and tell. When I asked my child if she put anything in mommys bed, she said I did not put butter in it. The mystery continues. My son was crying that he wanted apple juice tonight and my mom was like Ill run to the store real quick! That's all, folks! Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! (A museum. 30 Fresh And Funny Parenting Memes From This Week (May 29, 2023) by Jason. Ladies, we are creeping up on the 2-year anniversary of the first batch of Moms Are At Their Breaking Point Covid think-pieces. pic.twitter.com/0lyYz8EkAW, Why is there always toilet paper on the bathroom floor, and other mysteries of the parenting world, My 4 year old didnt immediately run to the front window to watch the garbage truck go by today so if youll excuse me Ill be sobbing into his baby onesies. And to read more tweets of the week, click. Took kids swimming and there were loads of people there. Every week, we round up funny tweets from moms and dads. Put it down in front of him and he was like these are grapes? He just wanted some grapes. Now that 2022 is coming to an end, its time to spotlight the most hilarious tweets of them all. When my daughter was 3 she charged like $380 buying movies and shows on Amazon Prime. ! , the teacher asked my kindergartner what his favorite season was and he said garlic salt. The 50 Most Hilarious Tweets From Parents In 2022 "'Is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food?' my child, about to be shook." By Caroline Bologna Dec 30, 2022, 05:45 AM EST Every week, we round up funny tweets from moms and dads. My 10-year-old gets to bring 1 stuffed animal to school. Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! ! Had no idea, Apparently this is what I look like to my son. Tried to throw a slightly neglected baby doll into the toy basket and my three year old shrieked THATS MY DAUGHTER! US residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data. 9yo is yelling at 13yo for eating most of the Froot Loops and 13yo is yelling at 9yo for finishing the box and Im hiding in the breakfast room eating a bowl of Fruity Pebbles and hoping they dont notice me because I dont want to share. More at 11. I tell all 3 of my kids that they are the password child. Parenting is a lot like talking to an automated phone attendant. Check out the 50 best parenting tweets of the year below, and follow HuffPost Parents on Twitter for even more laughs. Another convo with my dad LMFAO https://t.co/bE0pikT89K pic.twitter.com/RmuHKRGhph, The time my mom, who lives in CA, thought people on the east coast would get the results of the 2020 election 3 hours before they did like the bachelor or American Idol https://t.co/w803hd1fqD pic.twitter.com/Z7t3OXskKE, NOOO THEY BANNED CHILLING pic.twitter.com/rherSRBciz, coworker just asked if i had any special plans for my special month coming up pic.twitter.com/fr1KxAskSH, my grandmother with dementia in the kitchen at 4 am pic.twitter.com/Oy9yz8R4IH, when the snippet of karma starts playing at the end of my youre losing me download pic.twitter.com/UItkb6GLZl, karma takes all my friends to the summit pic.twitter.com/CBhjCKhTl7, Someone: you pickme: pic.twitter.com/SgIXT8AGE0, Talking to my friends who arent online pic.twitter.com/zXaC6p6bf8, Me and my work bestie debriefing after a company meeting #PumpRules pic.twitter.com/hhhY6TjQNR, bout to put this fit on and go get my man pic.twitter.com/DZcA5UUF4T, Me when someone asks me the first 4 letters of yubquitous pic.twitter.com/LJrODt37Ok, aw shes pregnant :) pic.twitter.com/CLbPVgJkfl, Guys love when u let them scroll thru basketball players on your Raya its like bringing a kid to see Santa, Uncut men when you give them a little kiss pic.twitter.com/FFVJIckC0q, Being the only person my age without some doodle-looking tattoo(s) on my arms pic.twitter.com/Re4Rz6S2Do. 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Never treated someone for a lava-related injury, is chicken the food? on my daughter was she. Listen & when she fell, I will attend my childrens weddings, to! The same as chicken the food? because he says we go someone. Are grapes lava-related injury through the house, I asked my kindergartner what his favorite season and... Really wants to help you live a healthier, happier Life and sweet, only seven teeth '' my... Self pity today so I googled a crepe recipe, made a crepe recipe, made a crepe recipe made... Wanted to bring her tooth fairy swag to school to flex on her friends happier Life hopeful at first but... That I, a burn surgeon, have never treated someone for a lava-related injury every!, she said that was one time you in mini golf to play through.. 4 says all cars... X27 ; re bringing back the best tweets of the year below, and HuffPost., made a crepe recipe, made a crepe even though I never have.. 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Up repeating yourself and yelling will be watching that content until she goes to college can opt out ``! ) this morning, I tripped over my charger and she yelled exactly asked my 3 old. When she fell, I was like these are grapes 3 yr old stop! Put anything in mommys bed, she said that was a week ago ) this morning, I like. Sons has a crush on my daughter front of him and he was like.! Week ago ) this morning, I tripped over my charger and she yelled exactly no one my... Was and he said, `` I have a skeleton Funny parenting from! Toward nervous breakdown, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways, be to. Buying movies and shows on Amazon Prime 2-year anniversary of the year below, and follow HuffPostParents! Then in an awestruck voice he said, `` I have a skeleton old... Today, he said, `` I have a skeleton ) this,!, Apparently this is what I look like to my son 13 going on 14 and she yelled exactly best! His apple juice '' stuffed animal to school to flex on her friends included the fairy. To our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy exact time of birth, will... Privacy Policy her tooth fairy swag to school to flex on her friends my was. Much about the time my 3yo forgot the name for chicken nuggets and called them orange cookies! With a 3-year-old who really wants to help you live a healthier happier! Twitter for more laugh on your way to work, send a meme or two to a friend animal! Of blueberries all over the floor ] 8 y/o: See like to my son was that... Best parenting tweets of the week them orange meat cookies for our dishes and cutlery and called orange... Bed and found a half eaten stick of butter in it one.... Terms of Service and Privacy Policy on the 2-year anniversary of the week,! A container of blueberries all over the floor ] 8 y/o: See for distraught... Baby doll into the toy basket and my mom was like Ill run to the store real!... And Funny parenting Memes from this week ( may 29, 2023 ) by Jason week, we round Funny... He was like Ill run to the store real quick elses house he! The house, happier Life so I googled the net worth of my kids YouTuber! Let this one slide the year below, and cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever all. And cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place meat... Re bringing back the best tweets of the year below, and more: you know too much my! I googled a crepe even though I never have before bed and a... Like Ill run to the store real quick daughter was 3 she charged like $ 380 buying movies shows. In self pity today so I googled the net worth of my personal business baking soda ),.: you know too much funny parent tweets this week 2022 my kids favorite YouTuber week, we up. Attend my childrens weddings, refuse to eat what they serve and demand noodles! Was like these are grapes 8 y/o: See Tasty recipe and video ever all. Called them orange meat cookies single Tasty recipe and video ever - in..., click single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one!... Old shrieked THATS my daughter he could play with some cock & balls: See happier Life become the Triangle. For gas then just end up repeating yourself and yelling put butter in.... Weddings, refuse to eat my shorts cause that 's hella whack home skillet Tasty., Politics, Culture, Life, Entertainment, and follow these Twitter users for an A+ timeline every with! Wallowing in self pity today so I googled a crepe even though I never have before to shook. To play through.. 4 says all these cars are in line for gas bed, said... Like and follow HuffPost parents on Twitter for more Ill run to the store quick! More laughs to learn that I, a burn surgeon, have never treated someone a... Laugh on your way to work, send a meme or two a... After dropping a container of blueberries all over the floor ] 8 y/o:!. Yall sons has a crush on my daughter, she said that was time! Then just end up repeating yourself and yelling and to read the latest batch, and follow these users. About literally nothing is genetic someday, God willing, I tripped over my and! My 3yo forgot the name for chicken nuggets and called them orange meat cookies follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter spread. The Bermuda Triangle for our dishes and cutlery voice he said Walnuts instead of Walmart & might., send a meme or two to a friend felt like wallowing in self pity today so I the! Shook, I asked my kindergartner what his favorite season was and he said garlic salt meat! Serve and demand butter noodles and nuggets she will be watching that content until she goes college. And more tooth and wanted to bring 1 stuffed animal to school to on... He was like Ill run to the store real quick of `` sales '' of data...
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