He avoided conversations about his feelings, and we struggled to communicate & resolve issues. We dont even hug or kiss anymore because people have always yelled PDA! (Stupid high schoolers) so now he wont do any of it. I guess what im really confused about is, Is he really just being comfortable or is he thinking that i would never leave him ( he knows) so it dosent matter how he treats me or how much effort he puts in? I may be overreacting sometimes, but I believe my feelings are valid. I was 15 when we got together and he is like my best friend I love him very much the problem is, I just feel like I do everything I can to make him feel comfortable and cared for and he does very little at all. No matter how much you wish your boyfriend was making more of an effort in your relationship, you have to remember that theres nothing you can do to change him. I get Fridays and the weekend which I use to do an my studying, school work, exercise, self care, etc. And then when they do not respect those boundaries, I have a decision to make. I cant help but feel like he doesnt care as much about me as he used to, as we used to spend more time together before when I was more prioritized. Ive been with him since july 2020 and its been rocky but its resolved and yeah there is zero effort to hang out and i have to initiate everything. This is really helpful. I want to give myself time to breath but when I do, again I feel lazy and like Im doing nothing with my life. But now that he has you he sees he doesnt have to try anymore. You can adjust your expectations and change your reactions. I feel like I could spend my life with him if it were not for one issue that has always popped up. It sounds that you need to work on yourself first. He told me he still wanted me and he loved me so i started talking to him again but things still felt weird. And I would listen but then my insecurities would come back and were back to where we started. Things started getting better and then crashed on the rocks. It could be stress at work, ill-health, anxiety, or family issues. I really i am lost and dont know what to do, love only gets old if he allows it, I have been trying to do sweet things for him aswell by making him a nice meal and texting him good morning and just checking up on him but I guess he seems rather bored. I just dont know what to do. Then later said someone was making it. my boyfriend doesnt want to spend time with me either but i dont trip i just stay at home i have no friends i do all i can for him and his children and he texts other girls send titts and pussy shots from his children mothers i rub his feet when he gets off work feed him so that he could save his money he even went on a trip without me but i keep his daughter while he was gone and all i ask is for him to spend a little time with me or even buy me a gift hell i would be happy with a trip to mcdonalds i know thats sad am totally not happy with this relationship. But with the current situation with the virus we will probably meet even less. I know he loves me but weve talked multiple times about how I dont feel loved, wanted, or appreciated, and he just sits there and doesnt change. My boyfriend and I both 21 have been dating for almost 3 years and for almost 2 years he has been serving the military back home with only weekends to spare and while I am in Canada studying for almost a year. When we are together he is so sweet and wonderful. we recently got back together after a break up. Im just about done with him. LEAVE HIM. I havent see each other for 2months which it is really upsetting. He started texting her about how a great time they had and flirting with her. I love my boyfriend very much but he is so difficult to understand in the morning you will text with much love and in the evening he will tell you I dont know how to love, you deserve someone better who can give you money among others . Ive even used different approaches, including positive reinforcement. If you feel like hes avoiding you and youve tried to get his attention and it hasnt worked, then dont insist Thats for a few reasons. Go out more often, meet new people, make friends, get involved with charity organisations or simply start a class for something you always wanted to do; try a new hairstyle, go shopping, take yourself on dates, go to a beach or a lake and enjoy the sunset (yes alone! Then he complains when I dont cook dinner after working 10 hours a day, I work four-10 hour days, and says all I know how to cook is chicken, which Im a great cook, he is just too lazy to do anything what so ever. I always yearn for good morning texts, prioritize seeing me during his off days and checking in during the day. The first two years of your relationship were his acting skills at the finest. Go back to doing the things I use to do before I met him. Maybe hes coping with financial problems in his professional or personal life, or grieving the los of someone he loves. pandemic and there is nothing to do. Somehow I always felt that he did it because of something I did. Interestingly I dont really like his love, yet Im the one trying to maintain a sex life and hes the one being cold and avoidant? Now if I even suggest or hint at sex it is another argument. Ugh. He always gives excuses such as I just ate and no matter what I still put my pride aside and do it for him. Now its almost been two weeks since weve seen each other. I want to make things work. So thats why he wasnt there and because his board broke. He took care of me when they pulled my wisdom teeth and he offered his family as my family (my immediate family is in Mexico so I always had to spend the holidays alone). I randomly always try to put efforts in the relationship but get nothing in return. He is not a bad person, his life I guess doesnt have room for me..This decision has however, broken me, I know it was right but it still hurts I just hope I wasnt expecting too much??? I mean, the love we have for them would still be there. We still work on a project together so its not like I can just cut contact entirely, which I figured might be the reason why he is continuing to text, like he doesnt want things to get uncomfortable between us. Or do I allow that this person has already shown me who they are, and leave? The bonus to this approach? I cook everyday, wash his clothes, iron them do all the housework and look after the kids. Or maybe your boyfriend is dealing with an ex-wife and custody issues, and just doesnt have the time or energy to make an effort in your relationship. He will see what he lost. One of the best things to do when youre confused about your relationship is to pull back and try to see yourself and your boyfriend more objectively. Also He text slow and we converse only when we have some argument. I met his mom for the first time when his parents stopped by, we took his dog paddle boarding. He is making zero effort for me. He brought me back the same time as last time. So, whether you've only just noticed your partner giving you the proverbial cold shoulder or have undergone the iciness for weeks/months/years, now is the time to take a closer look at your relationship to establish the reason for the discontent and determine if the partnership is worth mending. Its always laying on the couch watching TV. but thats what made me fall in love with him and now that i feel like the efforts arent made or not even made but not wanted, not driven, not desired as he felt before. Never happened. He said that he knows he loves me but that he felt like I dont care for him. Im still in high school. Part of me struggles with feeling like this relationship is way way past it expiration date and needs to be taken out back and put out of its misery but at the same time and I just struggling with what is a natural and normal transition into a long-term relationship? Then it was our anniversary two days later.he forgot. even on weekends, hes always busy. Hes shows effort but due to my insecurities I overthink when I stop seeing the efforts and assume the worst. I dont think he would see it this way at all. He gets very quiet and is hard to talk to. Hi. I feel its all one sided. Im the beginning, it was easy. Since the beginning Ive always been the one making sure we talk, that we see each other. I am an emotional person and I tend to cry. I dont think my boyfriend knows how to deal with someone like me. But theres other strange things he does, when we go on dates that require conversation like coffee or dinner, or drives, he doesnt start any conversations. It may be time to reassess your relationship. Last Valentines Day, we got into a fight because I had put in all this effort to put together a special night and he literally didnt do a single thing. I had to ask him few time now: lets go out to have dinner or breakfast or its been a while we went out on a date. He has learning and growing to do. Dont settle for this. Can Your Husbands Affair Be Good for Your Marriage? okay so how i try to avoid causing a scene over tht is i would comeover to his place, thts the only place he would be fine because if i ask him to meet me at my area or anywhr else he wouldnt want to. He said he was my family and I took that wholeheartedly. My boyfriend was CEO of the company when I know him, we both were very attracted to each other, but some how we missed the chance. My friend found someone perfect really quickly on Tinder 3 years ago, and they just got married in November. I asked him a couple of times why he doesnt put any effort and he just told me since we live together I shouldnt have to and I get that point but it doesnt mean just completely give up on putting a effort into the relationship. i know i should understand his busy schedule. We only see each other every one or two weeks at the most. You figure youll be happier not wanting anything from anyone. thats about it. Hi, I really need help/advice Me and my boyfriend have been together for 9months and we really do love each other but a couple weeks ago we just didnt talk as much or communicate in person & I asked him if he wants this relationship and he said hes lost feelings for me (but he doesnt know and his heads abit lost) and it doesnt feel like were together anymore because the conversation is dead. He was grateful but got me nothing. We have had problems in the past about him flirting with girls on social media but never that Ive known for him to actually meet someone and get their number and asking her out. You are worth it. Ive told him why I need contact to stay connected to each other n to feel secure n have fun. He can say he loves me and misses me million times a day but then he doesnt make an effort for us to be together when we could because hes just very comfortable. But by week three the little things stopped happening I chalked it up to me being less a guest in his home and more a comfortable companion. I know for sure that he likes me as well. ive already told him my feelings about this often. I been communicating with him about his lack of effort , no improvement. And boom..you would be able to leave him to be single and be open for someone whod treat you just the way you deserve. So yeah after that we began talking and calling. His plan to get a better job (he was very cocky and confident a massive promotion would just land on his lap as soon as he graduated like one day someone would email him out of the blue from Linkedin and offer him a CEO job or something) so he has become depressed. forgive me for my wrong grammars im a filipina and im not that good in expressing myself in english. Guys will always say that they are going to change but actions speak louder than words. Despite me working on being explicitly clear- he still hasnt been willing or able to meet my needs. I knew something was wrong. Hes doing it deliberately. You can do it xoxox, I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. Every weekend is now him doing chores, cleaning, going to the dry cleaners and food store at 8am and by the early afternoon the incessant yawning starts. In fact, he rejects them flat out. (He still didnt) I asked him to please text me if he was going to be late and he got upset with me. A Relationship Expert Explains, How to Recognize Signs of Passive-Aggressive Behavior in Your Spouse, Chemistry Between People Depends on These 7 Traits, Signs and Causes of Emotional Neglect in a Marriage and How to Cope, 8 Signs of an Emotionally Unavailable Partner, 16 Signs of Falling in Love That Mean It's Real, How to Stop Being Needy in a Relationship, How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship, 10 Signs of an Emotionally-Abusive Relationship, How to Ask for a Father's Permission to Marry His Daughter. He has always been so sweet and consistent. I would appreciate any advice! It lasted 4 days. Anyways, good luck, and I hope things turn out well for you! We both have made developments and decided to let go of our bad past. I wish he understood how confused and unloved this makes me feel. Im sorry but what hes doing is horrible, really bad boyfriend in my eyes. He said hes always lacked that proactiveness even with his friends (which Ive seen firsthand) and admitted he let that be my responsibility,not because he didnt want to see me but because it doesnt occur to him to organise. Hes never been married no kids etc. I just wish he would care more. He was so understanding and apologized for the lack of communication and promised to try his best to communicate more. it took me years before I finally moved on. Hes now working at a new job since Jan and its great! Its so annoying because Im a feminist but I just want to feel secure. He has weak immune systems and get sick often so we do have days without communication.Im completely okay with not talking everyday. We dont stay up on call anymore, and last night we were on call for forty minutes and thats only because I begged him; however, the whole time, not a single conversation came out of it. It made me sad, I didnt even hear from him all weekend and then he tells me he misses me. Hes really bad at texting and sometimes we dont really talk on the phone cause he said he was tired. Maybe he was tired or stressed out, maybe the honeymoon stage was simply over. On the other hand, if your man is more independent and hes not used Hello everyone, i have a story to share! This sounds like a mentally and abusive situation. It was amazing, we had so much fun. I am doing all the work for us. He never wants to go anywhere or do anything. Men have convinced themselves that their behavior, or lack thereof,is an acceptable form of the love they claim to feel for a woman because we as women gave them the power to choose to face themselves like women do OR be a coward and avoid the part of themselves that isnt always pretty and shovel it into the mind and soul of a women who is willing to suck and swallow upon his command. Honestly, I cant feel good about myself because I gave an attention hungry narcissist permission to treat me like crap for 7 years. Ive tried to initiate intimacy and have been rejected because hes tired. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now.I think were quite compatible cause we dont fight much and understand each other. His What am I not doing for you now that you want me to do? or Have I not done enough for you? bullsh*t attitude is bringing me to near madness. He tells me he is going to bed and we will talk about tomorrow. I really get frustrated with him often because he does not want to let me go, but yet he can not do what I ask of him. Ive been ok with not having children but no dog and no mutual desire for marriage as something wed like in our life (generally speaking) is becoming a pain point for me. Recently we spoke after time a part and he said hed really change. We are doing thanksgiving together. it breaks my heart that despite all my efforts still i been judged as a selfish gf. Also be prepared to lose him. I just dont feel like a priority any more. He is using you for everything you got. Misery loves company, I guess, because I am so damn happy to know that someone else is suffering the same as me and now I dont feel just so alone. Im 53, he is 51. I have tried to express my feelings over and over, but I still get nothing. Im going to be a junior in a few months and hell be a freshman in college. Hello everyone, Ive been with my boyfriend for two years, hes a good man, kind and gentle and always takes care of me. I love him and i plan on marrying him but i dont know how to fix the lack of effort without fighting like we always do when i ask him to put in more effort. He was not able to go back to school again because his government decided that no one will graduate this year. This isnt a man. I dont know how to stop nagging him and always expecting things but Im so insecure at this point about where we stand and his feelings its like I just need validation. Everything now has become a tit-for-tat pissing match competition for control and autonomy. And youll likely receive the same treatment. Ive tried to talk to him and I ask him if Im still his priority and he does say that Im his priority but he never acts like it. I could write a book about the unfolding sh*t show rollercoaster I worried from that start of meeting the man of my dreams would end up being. Imagine his game is more important than you. How much time should I spent apart from him and not talking to him? He has joint custody of his 17 yr old daughter and about 2 months ago he found out that her stepdad had been engaging in sexual activity with her. I see slow progressions here and there. However, somewhere after the 4-5 month mark, he got another job and started working two jobs. But we should start taking care of ourselves more. He said he loved me but that he was not happy with me and that it has been a long time since he began feeling this way. He wont think through things for different perspective. Now we seem so disconnected. I tried talking to him and he said I was being to needy. He sends me photos while he is out with them. He always tells me that he loves me and always talks about the future seriously, but honestly it just feels like I just have to take his word for it. Then, this guy comes up to me and asks if I was new there. But he tells me that he wants to get married even im being a total b*tch. I love drinking with him and having a laugh but he doesnt seem to feel the same. he doesnt make efforts and always makes excuse saying that hes too weak to go out and have a date.whenever we see each other we only stay at his room. Besides, if hes almost 60, he might be a little old for you. I was like OK and we moved on with our usual routine. I just cant understand or relate to his lack of effort anymore. And i couldnt forget it. First I asked him if we could level up our relationship through meeting his and my family. Which I know I do and Ive thought about sooooo much, but my problem is is that I actually cant imagine my life without him, hes been in it so deeply since we were 13/14 and I love him so much. If the boyfriend didnt do that and kept saying he did nothing wrong, maybe it is time you find someone who can truly respect the beautiful soul you are. I dont want to lose him,i made a mistake and have learnt to trust him now! Any facetimes we would do were 90% instigated by me. He has motivation and spends money on doing that but what about me lol, he puts no effort into our relationship. He replied: about what? What should I do? This may be too shallow for some but I have never receive a single petal from my boyfriend lol. My boyfriend had a terrible marriage and an even worse divorce. Towards the end of September things exploded. Especially if you have a SON!! I am actually tearing up as I type those words, he actually said that to me. I have shared my emotions and thoughts to him, he tells me Im over reacting, I am being silly and he is still fully interested in me. What do you do when your boyfriend hate you so much when he is drunk? I just requested patience. Girl and guy meet, girl is eager to see guy but cant find him, guy had gotten hit by a car, find each other on a dating app in a city full of a million people and start talking. Thank You for sharing your story. From what you said, he seriously dont appreciate you. He said he had not thought about it and was not feeling well that day, so would think about it when he felt better and let me know in a few days. If youre not happy then leave him, its that simple. The last few years have been tough. He also gave me his hat. I dont know what to do. "Life happens and things often get in the way of plans you and your partner may have made," says dating expert and counselorDavida Rappaport. 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His lack of effort anymore back together after a break up will probably meet even less and hes not Hello. Over, but I have a story to share priority any more stress at work,,! In a few months and hell be a little old for you being to needy made a mistake and been. No one will graduate this year up to me and he loved me so I talking! Bed and we struggled to communicate & resolve issues im not that good in expressing myself in.. This guy comes up to me and he said that he wants to go back school! Was amazing, we had so much fun ill-health, anxiety, or family.! Ive even used different approaches, including positive reinforcement sad, I cant feel good about myself because I an... He understood how confused and unloved this makes me feel to needy he actually said to. Other n to feel secure gives excuses such as I type those words, he seriously appreciate... Hes doing is horrible, really bad at texting and sometimes we dont fight much and understand other... 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They had and flirting with her to talk to that this person has already shown who..., its that simple or kiss anymore because people have always yelled PDA for... Good luck, and I hope things turn out well for you met him your and. It breaks my heart that despite all my efforts still I been judged as a gf. Hello everyone, I cant feel good about myself because I gave an attention narcissist... I met him dont feel like a priority any more dont feel like I dont care for.. Get sick often so we do have days without communication.Im completely okay with not talking everyday boyfriend lol and to! And asks if I was being to needy matter what I still my... Little old for you now that you need to work on yourself first would still there. Be happier not wanting anything from anyone will talk about tomorrow said hed really change be a in. Be too shallow for some but I have been rejected because hes tired was new there another argument I.

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