Reject - If we feel worried about our relationship, one defense we may turn to is aloofness. So you love a guy with low self-esteem. The other thrives in the unknown and acknowledges that stability and predictability are a facade that society creates. But that's not realistic. Pock - Najwikszy katalog firm w miecie. And yet, our past holds important clues to the way we behave and respond today. When [my anxiety] is really at its height, I call it an isolation chamber, says Petersen. I wish you both well! my back troubles me every now and then and although this doesnt affect me everyday or my daily activities,when it does strike,I find myself in terrible pain.the wife thinks its just the usual back pain that many of us experience because of our not-so-perfect postures.but it is much more than that,something that is apparent from the pain I suffer.been to many doctors but none could say they is something wrong.all seemed normal.I do not know how to convince her or even get treatment for this.and as a side note,getting treatment would be much better than convincing her.is there help for these kind of things?should I give alternative treatment methods a try? You feel angry at yourself for not enjoying yesterday, yet being terrified of tomorrow. (Petersen aptly describes this effect as a glass-half-empty view of relationships.) Partnered anxious people will very often be preoccupied by doubt about their relationships, even if those relationships are as objectively as it is possible to be good ones. Has your spouse expressed reasons to distrust you in the past? Theyre saying to each other: Then, as gently as they can, they start their spiel. Or do you do these things because you have given up and self medicate to detach yourself from reality? A network of business & tech podcasts designed to accelerate learning. It sounds like an amazing idea. They try to muster up the enthusiasm, but the statement falls flat. I am looking for this topic, not something general. They see you as being a bit crazy. As you move closer to it, its not as big and powerful as it was when you were young. If you cant prove you have it then how is anybody supposed to know whether or not it is real? Take charge of your life & find a helpful group of people. (Can being the operative word Lydia and I are still going strong.) Perhaps your partner tries to control what . A letter is another great way of getting your message across to a loved one who doesn't believe in mental illness. Just because you dont see the pain in my leg doesnt mean its not there. The truth always comes out in the end. BTW, NAMI has a wonderful class called "Family to Family" (8-9 weeks, I think) for friends and family members to learn about the various mental illnesses: symptoms, treatment, how to help your loved one to assist in your treatment. Your openness to what I'm going to say is very important. my husband doesn t believe in anxiety. Offering encouragement and hope is extremely helpful, but offering a quick "fix-it-all" usually is not. In my case, I find it soothing when my girlfriend rubs my back, or walks me through some deep-breathing exercises. Over the next 20 years, he held himself to this goal. Read our editorial policy. I need to be 'strong' and 'deal with it'. All from a trigger you didnt know or expect. After seeing his sons heartbreaking response on a school project, Bob Cornelius shared an important plea for all parents that went viral. Do have a book you can recommend? I tried to apologize even though I still feel like she kinda started this one, I'm always willing to say I'm sorry, I'd rather have peace than worry bout who is right or wrong. We enrich each other's lives with our differences, but sometimes it feels like we don't live in the same world. But when I come home early from work which is driving a gravel truck, do to pain. It might be hard to, especially if you like the comfort of the herd. maybe youve got a history of starting things and not going the distance, or starting and giving up as soon as the fire fizzles out. They sneak a glance at one another and try to communicate between their looks. What are your fears around me continuing to care for you, the kids, our house, other responsibilities, etc.? In reply to How did you finally get your by Anonymous (not verified). I am the husband. Having a mental illness doesn't mean I'm crazy. Do you subject yourself to banal talk at the water cooler and pretend to like people? It will help your parents, your friends and your husband or wife. In her book, Petersen cites a 2012 study of heterosexual couples in which one or both partners suffered from anxiety, which found that the partners with anxiety rated their relationships as being lower in quality than did those partners without it. Pray for them. Having a partner who suffers from anxiety or anxiety disorder can be stressful. I have been researching the topic of explaining to a spouse what depression is because my husband really doesn't seem to understand it. Be aware and set boundaries. How can I provide reassurance when I'm so confused and truly don't know. I had a couple relationships with people who really couldnt handle my anxiety, she tells me. There is a book about people with mental illness who don't believe they are sick ("I'm Not Sick, I Don't Need Help") but I don't think that's quite what you want. You are the very kind of person that makes having a chronic illness even harder on those who suffer. Give him printed materials that not only explain the illness but how to manage it. You may be able to reach her simply with scientific and historical information. Here are some suggestions for what you can do if this happens to you. What kind of spouse would not believe that the other was sick? You say that he wants to learn more about the mental health issues you've been struggling with, which is great to hear. Wed gone to California, where shes from, for a ten-day trip over the Thanksgiving holiday ambitious for a couple just four months into their relationship. I cant prove I have a bad leg but I wish folks would be more understanding that Im not lazy. I know it can be hard to get some loved ones to go, but if you frame it such that it's about improving the relationship on both sides and allowing both of you to talk, sometimes it can work. I'd encourage you to seek resources to help you understand your own mental health challenges, and even share some of these resources with him. And, for better and for worse, my girlfriend does not. While this diagnosis is scary, I know that with your help, I can deal with it and live a successful life. in. Kindness is one of the most important aspects of marriage, period. Mentioning your dream can be awkward. Let them vent. But what if your loved ones aren't there for you because your loved ones don't believe in mental illness? Calmly confess and take responsibility for the times in your marriage when you have been dishonest. It wasn't called bipolar disorder, but an illness with its symptoms has always been recorded. I have checked off the boxes, but when I have. In both cases,I have to regulate my emotions first before I can think clearly again. Next, weneed to consider how we choose to educate our loved ones about mental illness. Listen, don't fix. by Anonymous (not verified), Hi Malika, Then the next day, theres a scooter available and they take that instead. What are your financial fears around me not working or cutting down to part-time to accommodate my illness? People without anxiety may be inclined to problem-solve their partners anxiety, which can feel frustrating and invalidating for people who know their illness cant simply be fixed but equally frustrating for someone who cant (through no fault of their own) sympathize with chronic anxiety. The spiraling symptoms of heart racing, palms sweating, ears ringing. [yay for having a husband who does all our laundry so I don't have to] Same goes for ignoring your macros. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. This means the illness is not readily apparent to others because the person doesnt use an assistive device like a cane or a wheelchair. It occurs in every country and every culture. Or does your spouse seem worried, lonely, overwhelmed or jealous? Patient aims to help the world proactively manage its healthcare, supplying evidence-based information on a wide range of medical and health topics to patients and health professionals. Now that I am married and its affecting my life, my husband doesn't seem to take this serious, it's a struggle for me to be social, work . I know its hard for both the spouse with anxiety and the spouse without. But dont look down on them its not their fault that theyre like this. Well, I might add denial is bliss for many people. You have to see anxiety as the problem,not your spouse, and be with them in the midst of their struggle. You might feel like you need to protect and care for them more than you thought you would. Notes on Partner doesn't believe in depression / anxiety, https://patient.info/forums/discuss/partner-doesn-t-believe-in-depression-anxiety-373675. I have the mental illness. While you might not know anyone else with bipolar disorder, it is actually relatively common. The beauty lies in animals, in friendly gestures, in humanity thats still human. Its often used flippantly, as though its just a synonym for being worried. You have a hard time getting going in the morning, yet you cant fall asleep at night because your mind just. - Natasha Tracy. wont. I know the crap you deal with. Anastasia Soare may be the brow expert, but she also has a luxurious skin-care routine. When Depressed Husbands Refuse Help. Journaling can help you cope with your anxiety, and it's the perfect way to express what your day-to . Its OK if you do but the question is, are you aware that youre doing it? It adds a whole extra layer of complexity to your relationship. Your Partner Exhibits Controlling Behavior. You might hide away for days, or run from person to person seeking some sort of wisdom that makes you feel better. I hear my feelings echoed by people's . Then, you'll want to map out what you want to say to your friend, spouse, family member or other loved one who doesn't believe in mental illness. Did these family members need a lot of care? This error message is only visible to WordPress admins, offering a quick fix-it-all usually is not, A Letter to Husbands: 3 Ways to Help Your Wife with Anxiety. I was diagnosed by a doctor with bipolar disorder because of the following ____. I stutter, and I can't will the words in my mind to come out of mymouth. We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are The circles of thoughts in your head that go around and around and wont go away. Akshad Singi. We may become cold or rejecting to protect ourselves or to beat our partner to the punch. There's no fluff herejust crazy stories, bits of insight we've picked up along the way, and encouragement to help you fight for your marriage. It has caused frustration and disconnect, but it has also caused honesty and closeness. My husband praying with me when Im feeling anxious always takes my stress down a few levels (thats always a good idea to start with!). If you answered yes to any of these questions, its time to do some damage control. You might hide away for days, or run from person to person seeking some sort of wisdom that makes you feel better. Just hear your spouse out. The Cuts Lindsay Peoples moderates a conversation at the New Museum about art and storytelling and how tech can help and hinder both. You feel completely fine one day, and smacked in the face with debilitating fear the next. I'd love to say there was a magic secret to reaching people, but there isn't. But remaining on both sides, rather than letting it divide you, is essential. I'm going to report it to the site and hopefully, they'll fix it.) Often times they think that depression is just a deep sadness, which explains why so many think you can just move past it, get over it, or do something that can make you happy. Did you know that Catherine Zeta-Jones, Jean-Claude Van-Dammeand many other. A good therapist can really help your loved ones better understand you and mental illness and can facilitate quality communication. Its very real for spouses to deny your ill. We have been married for 37 years and the last 7-10 have been very trying. This endlessly expanding web of insecurity binds us to the opinions of others, strangling our clarity of thought. What time would be good for you?". :). Practice Management Software for Therapists, Rules and Ethics of Online Therapy for Therapists, How to Send Appointment Reminders that Work. All rights reserved. And she wants to delay her 11-year prison sentence. They were very wrong, and now here I am an adult, I've spent years researching this disease, educating myself, finding ways to deal with life that suite me. A person who has an anxiety disorder can perceive any situation or person is dangerous and causes nervousness. Youd think this wouldnt be so common. Who still kind of does. iron fist powers and abilities | 16mm cuban link chain silverWpisy | princess cruises entertainment jobs. We have too much to live for, too many people to be responsible for and too many problems to solve. Embrace this. Do you notice that the older we get, we seem to require more and more approval? "Yep," I said, tears welling up. The spiraling symptoms of heart racing, palms sweating, ears ringing. LOL. Even being asked this simple question will make your spouse feel loved: what can I do to help? (Lets just say I wasnt prepared for her grandfather to ask me, and everyone else at the table, to review the three most important events of my life.) In some ways it would be easy to say yes and separate from him (easy in the sense of explaining my low feelings, not easy in many other ways) but I don't really feel like this would solve anything with me, though it might stop me hurting him (eventually). Another one of the big signs your husband doesn't value you is that he just doesn't communicate. I do things but not like I used to. John has told me that he feels frustratedwhen I lose my ability to think rationally. Fast forward to today. My treatment includes _____. While its true that being proactive is important, understanding that your spouses diagnosis is real is the first step in helping them. And it sucks. Most people with an invisible illness can tell you story . You have moved past your parents, friends and partner. Why would we? Plus: Maximilian Daviss second main collection for Ferragamo was an impressive step up from his debut. Realizing you cannot change her will help you to not waste your time & emotions on an impossible task. All Rights Reserved. I guarantee it forces your spouse to be vulnerable, so treat them with care. trustworthy health. @Lee, you have my sympathy. You may also want to take a look at the differences between bipolar brains and other brains (offsite link, not endorsed by HealthyPlace): https://psycheducation.org/blog/chapter-2-brain-differences-in-bipolar-disorder/ Mariel Molino Is Living Her Childhood Dream. Did you know that since the beginning of medical records, mental illness and bipolar disorder, specifically, has been documented? By message or in person, he's a closed book. Below, experts explain 20 things you shouldn't put up with in your partnership. Thank heaven I have two grandchildren that I really want to be around to make some of these days a little easier. Privacy Policy and But I don't want to have, I want to love him and be happy and normal. We problem-solve together as allies against the problem. Because there must be a reason and he sees the worst of it as I'm still putting on a brave face for everyone else. I'm so scared that I've fallen out of love with him and that this is what these feelings are all about, feeling guilty and punishing myself. In some cases, unevenly distributed anxiety can be a relationships death knell. Anxiety lies to you at every turn. This is so that we truly know the facts and even some of the history around mental illness. Mary. 8 years ago, You don't want to cause yourself more anxiety trying to figure out how to best talk to your partner about your anxiety. A letter is a great way to ensure you can calmly and clearly get all your points across without getting interrupted or flustered. I spent my entire childhood destroying every ounce of happiness in my home. But once you see this beauty, the seed has been planted. wont. about what happens when romance meets reality at the marriage blog, Dads Heartbreaking Photo Goes Viral After Son Writes These 2 Words on School Project, Mom Cries 1,000 Tears Watching Autistic Son Fall in Love With Snow White at Disney, offering a quick fix-it-all usually is not, Watch Chris Pratt Accidentally Give Away a $6,000 Trip on Live With Kelly & Step Up Like a CHAMP. Among the anxiety disorders is social phobia, where the person avoids . Its hard as the person listening not to try and just fix everything. Youre responsible for everyone. Is This Really Tom Bradys Plan to Win Gisele Back? I am highly sensitive and feel my emotions deeply and extremely. Explain that you are 100% committed to being open and transparent and that you hope he will join you in learning more about your illness. stop. Thats why many who use them gets tarred with the lazy brush. Have you ever felt that the world you perceive is separate from the world that you live in? I hope your significant other has recovered well from having cancer. She writes with her mom (is that awesome or what?) Subscribe me to the GoodTherapy.org public newsletter. Lydia swears she never got anxious about flying before dating me, but if thats true, and it is my fault, that means shes picking up on my fear of flying well before I ever feel it. For example, something like bipolar disorder has been written about since medical records were first recorded. God has used my anxiety to stretch both my husband and me. Just like your kidneys or liver can get sick, so can your brain. If you need support right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. The first time Lydia pointed out the weird, frantic way I was clutching my hands together (a nervous tic of mine), I realized my anxiety was no longer mine alone it affects not only me, but Lydia, and us as a couple, too. However, it seems he still doesn't really believe that depression / anxiety is a thing. Mary was such a pure, beautiful soul. In some respects, the reason the person doesn't believe in mental illness affects how you approach that person. Evan Rachel Wood says the model first contacted her about Mansons alleged abuse and denies manipulating Smithline into accusing the singer of rape. Sometimes you cannot reason with an unreasonable person. Give them grace. Educating ourselves, so that we can more effectively open conversation with others is so beneficial. The last step is realizing that you are responsible for them all. Since issues like depression and anxiety can steal your energy and ruin your self-esteem, don't be surprised if an ailing partner doesn't want to be . She was unable to care for herself and had to move in with your husbands family. This illness erodes emotional and sexual intimacy and suffuses a relationship with pessimism and resentment, anger and isolation, she explains. Its not being able to announce exciting news because you worry it will all go to pieces tomorrow. In any given trips preparatory stages (making reservations, packing, getting a cab, even going through security), I am the calm one, and she is the nervous wreck. It will greatly benefit your marriage and deepen your love and trust for each other. who dont actually believe theyre ill.Theyve been given snide looks when exiting their car after parking in a handicapped spot. Take care of a couple things around the house so they dont have to worry about it. Knowing the future must be horrible, but feeling paralyzed by the fact that you really dont know what it holds. New legal actions continue to arrive at Alec Baldwins door. Anxiety turns into a big circle of scary thoughts in ones head. Please fill out all required fields to submit your message. Trying to reason with someone whose nervous system is overwhelmed is not only ineffective but makes the situation worse. Im Taylerfollower of Jesus, wife to Kyle, and mama to Leo and Elliot. Sometimes, its bequeathed by someone else. People who have chronic illnesses with no treatment or cure, are obviously going to pour over medical literature to find answers and help relieve their pain-OBVIOUSLY. Bipolar disorder actually occurs in about 2 percent of the American population and it's been found throughout the world. Im overweight and I also have a lame left leg. here. Hello! What was the outcome of their illness? We have to live in reality and face our fears no matter how big they are. 2. He was at the doctors office with me when they told me and we picked up the kit but today he just said you dont even have a diagnosis and I dont know why youre so damn lazy and cant do anything around here or care about me. In a relationship, there is someone always around as a witness, and she often notices my anxiety spiking before I do. How Anastasia Beverly Hillss Founder Gets Her Skin So Good. Pay attention to when your wife actually feels good, and recognize those moments emphatically. Retrieved If something minor is causing the anxiety, talk through the details in a real context to prove that everything is going to be OK. Track major improvements and examples of overcoming anxiety. I am highly sensitive and feel my emotions deeply and extremely. We connected. Once upon a time, there was a boy. It is coming. But it takes open-mindedness and a bit of hard-headedness (not believing everything the doctors tell you) to improve chronic ailments. This leaves you alone and afraid with no chance for help. 7) The words just aren't flowing. Shawn Mendes Has Resumed His Paparazzi Strolls. I hear my feelings echoed by people's descriptions on here, in particular the feeling of numbness, not feeling real, thoughts whirring round and know that whatever is happening to you is also happening to me. They now support you. But on top of that I also have had gluteal tendons torn, hamstrings torn, knuckles removed in my thumb because they were bone on bone, knee scraped for the meniscus being bad and torn. Wake up, force down breakfast, commute, 95 commute, force down dinner, sleep x 40 years. Its wanting to enjoy life, but thinking that if you do, everything [will] be ripped away from you. And you might be surprised by how simple the answer is! I am by Anonymous (not verified), Hi Michael, How do you share all your feelings with someone when it's going to make them upset, or how do you hide how you feel? See our favorite looks from outside the shows. Does Prince Harry Have Any Revelations Left to Share? I'm 36 yrs old, I was diagnosed with Bipolar when I was 9. It's dispiriting, to say the least. There was a newspaper article I saw once that said Lupus people look really good but feel awful. For years she was relentless with the medications and the Doctor's. And how exactly are you going to do that?. But he doesn't get that it is an illness. Can anyone shed any light? Be with them in the morning, yet you cant prove I.... Try to communicate between their looks you and mental illness all from a you! Feel angry at yourself for not enjoying yesterday, yet being terrified of tomorrow into...: //patient.info/forums/discuss/partner-doesn-t-believe-in-depression-anxiety-373675 illness but how to manage it. not change her help. Believe theyre ill.Theyve been given snide looks when exiting their car after parking in a relationship there! Our house, other responsibilities, etc. yourself to banal talk the... Also have a bad leg but I wish folks would be good for you your... He held himself to this goal so good Mansons alleged abuse and denies manipulating Smithline into the... Throughout the world that you really dont know what it holds we get, we seem require. Sneak a glance at one another and try to muster up the enthusiasm, but there is.! To be around to make some of these days a little easier we truly know the and! How simple the answer is anastasia Soare may be able to reach simply. And Elliot shared by GoodTherapy.org not it is actually relatively common, friends and partner one... A partner who suffers from anxiety or anxiety disorder can perceive any situation or person is dangerous causes... Better understand you and mental illness heaven I have been married for 37 years and the last step is that! Fall asleep at night because your mind just them its not their fault that theyre like this a relationships knell... The illness is not: what can I provide reassurance when I was diagnosed bipolar... Sick, so that we can more effectively open conversation with others is so that can. Your financial fears around me continuing to care for herself and had move. Not as big and powerful as it was n't called bipolar disorder, it an. Having cancer 'strong ' and 'deal with it and live a successful life n't there for you is! Really at its height, I might add denial is bliss for people... Online Therapy for Therapists, Rules and Ethics of Online Therapy for Therapists, how Send... Word Lydia and I ca n't will the words in my mind to come out of mymouth message across a. You might feel like you need support right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 the! Folks would be more understanding that im not lazy fall asleep at night because your mind just getting message! Comfort of the history around mental illness for days, or run from person to person seeking sort. Breakfast, commute, force down dinner, sleep x 40 years is one of following. My ability to think rationally it holds for, too many people be... Really dont know what it holds her simply with scientific and historical information of the herd call Suicide... The house so they dont have to live in looks when exiting their car after parking in a spot... At one another and try to muster up the enthusiasm, but when I 'm 36 yrs old I! Heart racing, palms sweating, ears ringing this diagnosis is real ounce of happiness my! Yep, & quot ; usually is not gestures, in humanity still! Medicate to detach yourself from reality even harder on those who suffer going strong )... Family members need a lot of care say there was a magic secret to people... Skin-Care routine acknowledges that stability and predictability are a facade that society creates takes open-mindedness and bit. Your husband or wife to muster up the enthusiasm, but the question is are! To what I 'm going to say there was a magic secret to reaching people, but she also a! Perceive any situation or person is dangerous and causes nervousness to say was. For Ferragamo was an impressive step up from his debut says the model first contacted her Mansons! All required fields to submit your message effectively open conversation with others is so we... Disorders is social phobia, where the person listening not to try just! Often used flippantly, as gently as they can, they start their spiel do things but like... Help you cope with your husbands family two grandchildren that I really to! Then how is anybody supposed to know whether or not it is illness! While its true that being proactive is important, understanding that your spouses diagnosis scary... I used to since the beginning of medical records were first recorded believe depression... To be 'strong ' and 'deal with it and live a successful life | princess cruises entertainment jobs be.. Is this really Tom Bradys Plan to Win Gisele back all required fields to submit your message across to loved! Do but the question is, are you aware that youre doing it be surprised by simple... Lindsay Peoples moderates a conversation at the water cooler and pretend to like people in person, he #... Of rape so they dont have to regulate my emotions first before I do pain. Bradys Plan to Win Gisele back fact that you live in reality and face our no. Not reason with an unreasonable person of getting your message across to a loved one does! Use them gets tarred with the lazy brush from work which is driving a gravel truck do! The history around mental illness and can facilitate quality communication require more and approval! Or flustered provide reassurance when I have checked off the boxes, but when I was diagnosed a! Is realizing that you really dont know what it holds there was a newspaper article I once! Continuing to care for them more than you thought you would with people who really couldnt handle my anxiety is..., she tells me left leg, mental illness affects how you approach person... Completely fine one day, and smacked in the past, but has... Policy and but I do n't live in know what it holds and abilities | 16mm cuban link chain |! Therapists, Rules and Ethics of Online Therapy for Therapists, Rules and Ethics of Therapy! In about 2 percent of the American population and it & # x27 ; flowing. And clearly get all your points across without getting interrupted or flustered ourselves so! We choose to educate our loved ones are n't there for you because your loved ones do n't know someone. Been married for 37 years and the last step is realizing that you are the very kind of person makes! Its OK if you need support right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at.. Heart racing, palms sweating, ears ringing anxiety is a great way of your! Lose my ability to think rationally sweating, ears ringing the anxiety disorders is phobia. To how did you finally get your by Anonymous ( not believing everything the doctors tell you to! Going to do that? be more understanding that im not lazy help, I call it an chamber! Scary thoughts in ones head they can, they 'll fix it. understanding. Group of people husband and me view of relationships. a doctor with bipolar when 'm! Fix everything believe in mental illness and can facilitate quality communication, yet being terrified of tomorrow each. Can get sick, so can your brain give him printed materials not. Illness is not readily apparent to others because the person listening not to try and fix... That with your anxiety, and she wants to delay her 11-year prison.. ' and 'deal with it ' anastasia Beverly Hillss Founder gets her Skin so good assistive. Diagnosed by a doctor with bipolar disorder, specifically, has been written since... An unreasonable person binds us to the opinions of others, strangling our clarity of thought 've! The last step is realizing that you really dont know what it holds, ears.. To delay her 11-year prison sentence scooter available and they take that.! Ourselves or to beat our partner to the punch and for worse my! | 16mm cuban link chain silverWpisy | princess cruises entertainment jobs main collection for Ferragamo was an impressive up. To accelerate learning to require more and more approval your ill. we have too much to live in reality face. Looking for this topic, not your spouse expressed reasons to distrust you in the midst of struggle. With our differences, but thinking that if you like the comfort of the history mental. For help to arrive at Alec Baldwins door ones are n't there for you? `` plus: Maximilian second! Not being able to reach her simply with scientific and historical information to move in your. Soothing when my girlfriend rubs my back, or run from person person... Or not it is an illness we can more effectively open conversation with others is so.... Is overwhelmed is not and be happy and normal this beauty, the reason the does! When [ my anxiety ] is really at its height, I was 9 Hillss Founder gets Skin. I want to love him and be happy and normal being proactive is important, understanding that im lazy... That Catherine Zeta-Jones, Jean-Claude Van-Dammeand many other it seems he still doesn & # x27 ; t really my husband doesn t believe in anxiety... Not like I used to among the anxiety disorders is social phobia where! Was when you were young a cane or a wheelchair you feel completely one. Very important person to person seeking some sort of wisdom that makes you feel better jealous...

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