Drinkers will not stand for it.
I couldnt do that. But you can. There were flights from city to country and back, as my wife and I sought escape. If you cooperate, rather than complain, you will find that his excess enthusiasm will tone down. It is dependent upon his relationship with God. To a person who has had experience with an alcoholic, this may seem like tempting Providence, but it isnt. Members of a family should watch such matters carefully, for one careless, inconsiderate remark has been known to raise the very devil. Some of our alcoholic readers may think they can do without spiritual help. In nine cases out of ten the unexpected happens. It depends on us and on our motives. Do not contradict such views.

Dont raise such issues, no matter what your own convictions are. Though an alcoholic does not respond, there is no reason why you should neglect his family. My wife and I abandoned ourselves with enthusiasm to the idea of helping other alcoholics to a solution of their problems.

If you do this thoroughly, few people will ask you to drink. Yet we had been seeing another kind of flight, a spiritual liberation from this world, people who rose above their problems.

We are equally positive that once he takes any alcohol whatever into his system, something happens, both in the bodily and mental sense, which makes it virtually impossible for him to stop. Why this ready acceptance?

We meet frequently so that newcomers may find the fellowship they seek.

He should concentrate on his own spiritual demonstration. Whatever our ideal turns out to be, we must be willing to grow toward it.

The first 164 pages also discuss the differences between a normal drinker, a hard drinker, and a real alcoholic. Is he not a victim of the delusion that he can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this world if he only manages well? The very thing-an oasis! Most alcoholics owe money. Asked why they commenced to drink again, they would reply with some silly excuse, or none. At some of these we balked. The experiment of quitting for a period of time will be helpful, but we think we can render an even greater service to alcoholic sufferers and perhaps to the medical fraternity. How to use the twelve steps is explained using examples and anecdotes. Can you have every confidence in his ability to recover? Love and tolerance of others is our code. That is where our fellow travelers are, and that is where our work must be done. God either is, or He isnt. We think it dangerous if he rushes headlong at his economic problem. Seed has started to sprout in a new soil, but growth has only begun. Then let his family or a friend ask him if he wants to quit for good and if he would go to any extreme to do so. Sometimes the man we are calling upon admits his own fault, so feuds of years standing melt away in an hour. We think few, to whom this book will appeal, can stay dry anything like a year. No wonder an alcoholic is strangely irrational.

If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic.

Home BoardPrep Blog Alcoholics Anonymous The Big Book Pages 1 164, The text of the 1st 164 pages of Alcoholics Anonymous. We think that such a view is self-centered and in direct conflict with the new way of living. Historical romances at Harlequin will run to 75,000 words, but everywhere else theyre longer. Bill's Story and Dr. Bob's Nightmare and the personal experiences of some alcoholics are detailed as well as the series of solutions which evolved to become the twelve-step program. We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator. Circumstances made him willing to believe. One day my secretary came in saying that Mr. B- insisted on speaking with me. As each member of a resentful family begins to see his shortcomings and admits them to the others, he lays a basis for helpful discussion. Perhaps your husband will make a fair start on the new basis, but just as things are going beautifully he dismays you by coming home drunk. The text of the 1st 164 pages of Alcoholics Anonymous. She was furious. Here is a case in point: One of our friends is a heavy smoker and coffee drinker. Todays life is measured against that of other years and, when it falls short, the family may be unhappy. We used to amuse ourselves by cynically dissecting spiritual beliefs and practices when we might have observed that many spiritually-minded persons of all races, colors, and creeds were demonstrating a degree of stability, happiness and usefulness which we should have sought ourselves. You ask, because many alcoholics, being warped and drugged, do not want to quit. For when harboring such feelings we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. If he is not interested in your solution, if he expects you to act only as a banker for his financial difficulties or a nurse for his sprees, you may have to drop him until he changes his mind. The wife should fully understand his new way of life.

Most editors wouldnt recommend going over 80,000, as it will inspire bad taste among readers. If he has your will power and guts, he will make the grade.. It crowded out all else: This man recounts that he tumbled out of bed to his knees. I was finished and so were many friends. Many of the old problems will still be with you. Then faith would be dead indeed. by, The Anonymous Press PO Box 1212 If sex is very troublesome, we throw ourselves the harder into helping others. In thinking about our day we may face indecision. He uses his gifts to build up a bright outlook for his family and himself, and then pulls the structure down on his head by a senseless series of sprees. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick. The first thing apparent was that this world and its people were often quite wrong. I had often pondered these things. Near you, alcoholics are dying helplessly like people in a sinking ship. Having had the experience yourself, you can give him much practical advice. We are not theorizing. My ideas about miracles were drastically revised right then. This is all to the good. I placed myself unreservedly under His care and direction.

Quicksand stretched around me in all directions. To Christ I conceded the certainty of a great man, not too closely followed by those who claimed Him. We looked askance at many individuals who claimed to be godly. When dealing with an alcoholic, there may be a natural annoyance that a man could be so weak, stupid and irresponsible. Your husband will see at once that he must redouble his spiritual activities if he expects to survive. He may be anything but that. But even in this type of beginning we are obliged to admit that our justification for a spree was insanely insufficient in the light of what always happened. Avoid answering these inquiries as much as you can. We are average Americans. When this sort of thinking is fully established in an individual with alcoholic tendencies, he has probably placed himself beyond human aid, and unless locked up, may die or go permanently insane.

Seeing this, and meaning to be helpful, his wife commenced to admonish him about it. Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. The distinguished American psychologist, William James, in his book Varieties of Religious Experience, indicates a multitude of ways in which men have discovered God. Hydrotherapy and mild exercise helped much. A man we know had remarried.

I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. If he feels free to discuss his problems with you, if he knows you under-stand and will not be upset by anything he wishes to say, he will probably be off to a fast start. Anything is better than the way you were. The good doctor now sees many men who have such experiences. He may bring new hope and new courage to many a priest, minister, or rabbi, who gives his all to minister to our troubled world. God ought to be able to do anything. Then he added, He sure didnt do much for me when I was trying to fight this booze racket alone.. How many times people have said to us: I can take it or leave it alone. Though he is now a most effective member of Alcoholics Anonymous, he still smokes and drinks coffee, but neither his wife nor anyone else stands in judgment. But some of us think we should not serve liquor to anyone. Seeing your attempt to understand and help, some men will try to take advantage of your kindness. What usually happens? Sooner or later, you are likely to find him reading the book once more. If he owes you money you may wish to make terms. Our ideas did not work. In this respect alcohol was a great persuader. In one western city and its environs there are one thousand of us and our families. The very practical approach to his problems, the absence of intolerance of any kind, the informality, the genuine democracy, the uncanny understanding which these people had were irresistible. Dad may be tired at night and preoccupied by day. If he has trouble later, he is likely to say you rushed him. God has either removed your husbands liquor problem or He has not. Though I had been only a nominal churchman, their proposals were not, intellectually, hard to swallow. We are without defense against the first drink. Have we tried to make mortar without sand? In competent hands, this seldom takes long nor is it very expensive. That seemed a bit skimpy. But insist that if he is severely afflicted, there may be little chance he can recover by himself.

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God has abundantly supplied this world with fine doctors, psychologists, and practitioners of various kinds. If you take it, your past will be forgotten and the fact that you went away for treatment will not be mentioned. But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave.

I vaguely sensed I was not being any too smart, but felt reassured as I was taking the whiskey on a full stomach. For him, this was the spree that ended all sprees. In some cases the wife will never come back for one reason or another. We relax and take it easy. People like you are too heartbreaking. The right answer will come, if we want it.

Maybe you have already been obliged to put him away. You may spoil your chance of being helpful if you do. And be careful not to brand him as an alcoholic.

You are willing to overlook his past performances. It was so baffling, so heartbreaking. He has helped other men recover, and is a power in the church from which he was long absent. You need this information to put yourself in his place, to see how you would like him to approach you if the tables were turned. Outsiders became interested. And with us, to drink is to die. Show him how they worked with you. Disappointed but curious, I wondered what had got into the fellow. They should be patient, realizing they are dealing with a sick person. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. Thus you may succeed in interesting him in alcoholism. They had told of a simple religious idea and a practical program of action. When your prospect has made such reparation as he can to his family, and has thoroughly explained to them the new principles by which he is living, he should proceed to put those principles into action at home. Your understanding treatment of their cases will pay dividends. I stood in the sunlight at last. But we could not. Having persevered with the rest of the program, they wondered why they fell. In fact, his rival was ruined. He begins to think life doesnt treat him right. Moderate drinkers have little trouble in giving up liquor entirely if they have good reason for it. Before taking drastic action which might implicate other people we secure their consent. The great fact is just this, and nothing less: That we have had deep and effective spiritual experiences which have revolutionized our whole attitude toward life, toward our fellows and toward Gods universe. That the man who is making the approach has had the same difficulty, that he obviously knows what he is talking about, that his whole deportment shouts at the new prospect that he is a man with a real answer, that he has no attitude of Holier Than Thou, nothing whatever except the sincere desire to be helpful; that there are no fees to pay, no axes to grind, no people to please, no lectures to be endured-these are the conditions we have found most effective. The alarming physical and mental symptoms, the deepening pall of remorse, depression and inferiority that settled down on our loved ones-these things terrified and distracted us. Then he had gone to Europe, placing himself in the care of a celebrated physician (the psychiatrist, Dr. Jung) who prescribed for him. Sometimes it is to the best interest of all concerned that a couple remain apart. But in their hearts they really do not know why they do it. This sort of thinking had to be abandoned. Sometimes we think fear ought to be classed with stealing. Finally he shook his head saying, Something has happened to you I dont understand. Our friend was a ministers son. We could make few social engagements.

See your man alone, if possible. Next day they would be themselves again and we would forgive and try to forget. You think he ought to know the subject better, as everyone should have a clear understanding of the risk he takes if he drinks too much. Some of them rose out of ignorance of alcoholism.

Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore, but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to. If he is sincerely interested and wants to see you again, ask him to read this book in the interval.

But our man is sure to be impressed with a sincere desire to set right the wrong. I was to sit quietly when in doubt, asking only for direction and strength to meet my problems as He would have me.

Again, you should not crowd him. I ordered a cocktail and my meal. The same principle applies in dealing with the children. We have enjoyed such evenings ourselves; we had a good time. With this attitude you cannot fail. For a time he may try to hug the new treasure to himself. One poor chap committed suicide in my home. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them.

Yet you must not expect too much. I was soon to be catapulted into what I like to call the fourth dimension of existence. Sometimes he will be so interested that he becomes really neglectful. I felt I had every right to be self-confident, that it would be only a matter of exercising my will power and keeping on guard. Then we have the voices who cry for sex and more sex; who bewail the institution of marriage; who think that most of the troubles of the race are traceable to sex causes. Beginning with such complaints, a barrier arises. Had this power originated in him? Much has already been said about receiving strength, inspiration, and direction from Him who has all knowledge and power. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish.

This is sometimes a mistake. They criticize, pointing out how he is falling down on his spiritual program. That is our experience. There is another paralyzing fear. Understanding myself now, I fared forth in high hope.

The shortest that routinely gets contracted is the category romance, which runs about 55,000 words. If you draw this fallacious reasoning to the attention of an alcoholic, he will laugh it off, or become irritated and refuse to talk. He interrupted: I used to be strong for the church, but that wont fix it. First, we searched out the flaws in our make-up which caused our failure. We were in a position where life was becoming impossible, and if we had passed into the region from which there is no return through human aid, we had but two alternatives: One was to go on to the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation as best we could; and the other, to accept spiritual help. No St. Helena for me! She will want to know who the woman is and where she is. Whether such a person can quit upon a nonspiritual basis depends upon the extent to which he has already lost the power to choose whether he will drink or not. And then the book begins to give a solution to Is our work solid so far? Having been neglected and misused in the past, they think father owes them more than they are getting. PO Box 381 We have no monopoly on God; we merely have an approach that worked with us. We realize that we have been giving you much direction and advice. There is company insurance. The papers reported men jumping to death from the towers of High Finance. The tremendous fact for every one of us is that we have discovered a common solution. But that would be in great measure. They had visioned the Great Reality-their loving and All Powerful Creator. You may be at a loss to understand how such a seemingly above-board chap could be so involved.

Webhow many words are in the first 164 pages of the big bookcheese trail wisconsin lodging. Yet we do go to great extremes to provide each other with these very things, when such action is warranted. It is an effort to discover the truth about the stock-in-trade. Their services are often indispensable in treating a newcomer and in following his case afterward. Maybe you have disturbed him about the question of alcoholism. This means a new attitude and spirit all around. The age of miracles is still with us. We, who are familiar with the symptoms, see large numbers of potential alcoholics among young people everywhere. If there is any indication that he wants to stop, have a good talk with the person most interested in him-usually his wife.

We are not sure why, once a certain point is reached, little can be done for him. I cant understand it., For an hour, the two friends told him about their drinking experiences. I was amazed. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of Gods will into all of our activities.

They wanted to

Because of the employees special ability, or of his own strong personal attachment to him, the employer has sometimes kept such a man at work long beyond a reasonable period. Everyone spent in thousands and chattered in millions. There they were told that the book would probably be only about four hundred pages when printed. Now, the domestic problem: There may be divorce, separation, or just strained relations. We women carry with us a picture of the ideal man, the sort of chap we would like our husbands to be. Perhaps this is a typical attitude. There was a tremendous urge to cease forever. He agreed he was a real alcoholic and in a serious condition. Still the play does not suit him. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection. Each passage containing POWERLESS is shown along with a few words before and after the keyword.

Let him decide for himself. The book is spiral bound to lay flat and the cover is laminated for durability. How could there be so much of precise and immutable law, and no intelligence? He will be less likely to drink again, and anything is preferable to that. The more you type, the more precise the results. I have seen hundreds of families set their feet in the path that really goes somewhere; have seen the most impossible domestic situations righted; feuds and bitterness of all sorts wiped out. It hadnt even come to mind. Fred is partner in a well known accounting firm. Perhaps it is going to be that way with you. Average novel word counts are generally around 85,000 but they can range from 50,000 to 120,000. Thus was our friends cornerstone fixed in place. We meet these conditions every day. If you have been successful in solving your own domestic problems, tell the newcomers family how that was accomplished. Why cant he? Why dont you drink like a gentleman or quit? That fellow cant handle his liquor. Why dont you try beer and wine? Lay off the hard stuff. His will power must be weak. He could stop if he wanted to. Shes such a sweet girl, I should think hed stop for her sake. The doctor told him that if he ever drank again it would kill him, but there he is all lit up again.. Under these conditions your prospect will see he is under no pressure. Somehow I managed to drag my mattress to a lower floor, lest I suddenly leap. But we saw that it really worked in others, and we had come to believe in the hopelessness and futility of life as we had been living it. The book is spiral bound to lay flat and the cover is laminated for durability. He trembled as he went about, for this might mean ruin, particularly to a person in his line of business. For years he had floundered from one sanitarium to another. Let us make haste to reassure you. We missed the reality and the beauty of the forest because we were diverted by the ugliness of some of its trees. As I drank, the old fierce determination to win came back. Freds story speaks for itself.

His case presents additional questions which we shall try to answer for you. Rather vain of us, wasnt it? He clamors for this or that, claiming he cannot master alcohol until his material needs are cared for. Neither is reason, as most of us use it, entirely dependable, though it emanate from our best minds. But he must see the danger of over-concentration on financial success. This is a point we wish to emphasize and re- emphasize, to smash home upon our alcoholic readers as it has been revealed to us out of bitter experience. These tiny bodies are governed by precise laws, and these laws hold true throughout the material world. They will always materialize if we work for them. Exceptions to cases such as yours have been occurring since early times. It was a devastating blow to my pride. You can easily find some by asking a few doctors, ministers, priests or hospitals. There was never financial security.

I have enjoyed every moment spent in getting them straightened out. At a proper time and place explain to all your friends why alcohol disagrees with you. In trying to make these arrangements our actor may sometimes be quite virtuous.

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