Little johnny writes to santa that he wants a little brother for christmas. Not really sure what was going on, she showed Little Johnny. Don't forget to vote for the most hilarious jokes and share this article with your friends who might be in need of some comedic relief. "Teacher: "Yes, Bobby. Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay! ", I asked little Johnny, "What would you like for your birthday? The cashier said, Theres no way I can take this. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. Little Johnny says, "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day". He asks her what it is. He says out loud, one plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. Santa responds back, "Okay. 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Does anyone know the meaning of this classic dilemma? . "Little Johnny: "A reindeer. Rolly Burrell said they employ dirty tricks. Little Johnny was in church when the wine and wafers were passed out. Give it to me!" she yelled. ", Teacher: "Would you at the back of the room stop passing notes! The mother replies, 'Why, Thanks, Johnny." Little Johnny said that his father is a magician. A young female teacher was giving her class of six year olds a quiz behind my back ive got something red, round and you can eat it. Hello??!! Sadly, the baby was born without any ears. "Teacher: "Yes Jenny. "Teacher (surprised): "Why not? "Little Johnny: "Up and down or across? She starts to talk sternly to Little Johnny and says "Johnny when I was a young girl I was told that if I made ugly faces and the wind changed, my face would stay that way.". When they got to periods, Johnny asked, Why are periods so important? The teacher informed him and asked why he wanted to know. "Little Johnny: "Stop taking baths? After hearing that, Little Johnny pauses for a second. 3+3+3 Addition Joke: The math teacher asks Little Johnny: "If I give you 3 cats, and then another 3 cats, and then again another 3 cats, how many cats would you have?". ", Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?, Five-year-old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, Ive lost my dad!, Teacher: "If you add 3452 and 3096, then divide the answer by 4 and multiply by 6, what would you get?". Is he able to see alright? ""Yes, miss. ", Little Johnny asks his mum, Mum, do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time in a faraway land?No darling, says his mother, somewhat distressed, Sometimes, they can begin with Ive got too much work in the office tonight, Ill come home later.. The best little Johnny jokes Johny's curriculum vitae: 1. 65. "Little Johnny: "I suspect it's around Hadrian's garden!". He had a look of obvious relief on his young face. His sister tells him to give it back, she wants to keep it as a souvenir. ", Teacher: "Johnny, I want you to say a sentence that begins with the letter i", Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him "Johnny, where is your report card? So off they go. After all those years, Ive gotten used to the toilet paper, and this new thing was just far too scratchy., Teacher: "I told you to stand at the end of the line? So Little Johnny hauled ass for the door. Little Johnny to his mom: I shot 4 goals at the soccer match today!, Teacher: "If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have? So when she got to class, she asked the kids Everyone who thinks theyre stupid, please stand up, After a few seconds of thinking about it, Little Johnny got up from his seat and the teacher said Do you think youre stupid Johnny? What about it? He says: Well, the last generation just dropped it., After Sunday school, the teacher released the kids to go to church and reminded them, You all know to be very nice and quiet in the church. Ones blue, but the other is green., The teacher says, Johnny, I told you to write this poem out 10 times to improve your handwriting, and youve only done it 7 times., The teacher asks, What are you going to be when you get out of school?, Little Johnny's preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station. I don't own this..i found it funny that's why sharing here. ", Little Johnny returns from the supermarket with his mother. So she asked, Why did you copy your brothers homework?. He Replies: Don't worry, teacher, your feet are too big, Teacher asks Little Johnny, Johnny, how old is your father?Hes as old as me, Johnny informs her.Now how would that be possible? inquires the surprised teacher.Well he became father the day I was born., At school, Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." 6. ", Teacher: "Does anybody know what we call a person who keeps talking when nobody else is interested? Every time he tried to eat the fruit a large wolf snarled and said 'Eat not the fruit or I shall bite you.' "Little Johnny: "Well, up and down makes a 3, or across the middle leaves a 0! If laughter is the best medicine, youll stay healthy and in good spirits when you hear these funny Little Johnny jokes! "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. ", Teacher: "Great news, we have a test today, come rain or shine. ", Little Johnny's teacher says to him, "Johnny! ", The teacher asked, How far have you gotten with your homework, Johnny?. ", Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: I didnt had no fun for months. Then she faces the class and says, OK class, how should this be corrected?, Teacher: "What did they do at the Boston Tea Party?". If she drinks the whole bottle, she might even give it a little suck. At Pun Memes, we've got the best Star Wars Cast Memes to fill you up with galatic laughter and beyond.Star Wars Style! The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow. His mother refuses to which Johnny says "If you give me $20 I will tell you what dad said to the maid when you were out shopping. ", Teacher: "If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? Head over to this list of conversation starters! Well, he should be ashamed of himself. Ooops! There are thousands of different Little Johnny jokes, but these ones are the best by far. Little Johnny is just trying to be considerate. "Teacher: "That's not right, you'd have eight. She replies, "No". He stares for a minute and then, thoroughly disgusted, shakes his head, And these people tell me I shouldnt pick my nose? The teacher asks Little Johnny to name two pronouns. 'Dead!' "My brother is better than you brother!" Please check link and try again. ", Teacher: "Now class, stop acting silly and start behaving, god is everywhere you know.". Do you really expect me to believe that? We have plenty! Next she picked up a picture with a deer in it. So that's why teachers can be b*tchy some daysthey have 7 holes up theirs. "Well, I can see why they threw her out! "Little Johnny: "I don't know, I wasn't invited! "My dog ate it," was his solemn response. ", Little Johnny asked his grandpa to croak like a frog. "Little Johnny: "That's not fair you answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one! It means the car wont start., A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday. "Little Johnny: "Two things - I got 50 in spelling and 50 in history. Ones blue, but the other is green.Little Johnny: Im not sure. 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Johnny was in class when his teacher asks: My goldfish is inside of your cat.. ", Teacher: "If you add 3452 and 3096, then divide the answer by 4 and multiply by 6, what would you get? Where on earth did you pick it up? From my father. said Johnny. ", Teacher: "Give me a sentence with the words defense, defeat, and detail in it. !, Teacher: "What did they do at the Boston Tea Party? At school: "Johnny, wheres your homework? "Come on mom, the most important thing is that Im healthy! We respect your privacy. Just a normal day at school and the teacher asked little Johnny, whats two plus two? the teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with. "Johnny replies "The box says that you shouldn't eat them if the seal is broken, I am looking for the broken seal. Little Johnny responds: "ten.". Little Johnny than replied Well, my grandfather lived to be a 105 years old said Johnny. Johnny: " You don't know birds. What did his mother do? He stood and said, "My name is Dan, and when I become a man, I would like to go to Japan if I can, and I think I can. ", The teacher decided to teach the children in her class how to count. Huge fan of "Friends". ", Teacher: "If 1 + 1 = 2 and 2 + 2 = 4, what is 4 + 4? , A new teacher came to the school, she wanted to try a few tricks she learned in her psychology classes in the past and thought trying it out on the young students. if she a bad cook. There latest trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. Teacher: "How far have you gone with your homework Johnny? Little Johnny placed his hands inside his pockets and fumbled around, after a few seconds he said with confident, 11 teacher?! Funny Ways To Answer The Phone? ", Little Johnny returns from the supermarket with his mother. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. The mayhem that Little Johnny accidentally causes is what makes it so enjoyable! Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a chat with him and explained how the baby had no ears.Johnnys dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the hiding of his life when they came back home.Little Johnny told his dad he understood and agreed not to mention the baby's lack of ears.Johnny looks in the basonet and says "Wow, what a beautiful baby." "Jenny: "Is god outside in the playground? Do you really expect me to believe that? ": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics), 30 Of The Most Spine-Chilling Things Kids Have Ever Said, As Shared In This Viral Twitter Thread, "An Entitled Mother Insists That I 'Share' My Nintendo Switch With Her Child On My Flight", Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" ", Teacher: "Would you at the back of the room stop passing notes! ", Little Johnny and Silly Billy were engaging in the time-honored tradition of a verbal battle like little boys all over the world. "Johnny: "But miss, you said that it is never too late to learn. fisherman's friends net worth; thomas edison light bulb impact on society; how to add someone on snapchat without it saying added by search; why does jailatm need my social security number A young female teacher was giving her class of six year olds a quiz "behind my back I've got something red, round and you can eat it. His dad says to the teacher "Hang on a minute, I had Johnny at home with me for 2 months and I never phoned you once when he misbehaved. Youll see it later on the news, anyways.. ", Teacher: "Where does your mother come from? Less than a minute later, he returned to his seat next to his mom. You dont even know what it means. I do. said Johnny. That made me chuckle out loud Dang A month? Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. Hey Pandas, What Are Some Of Your Favorite Dad Jokes? "Fred: "There it is! "Johnny says: "Back at home, looking for her ticket.". The teacher asked Johnny to give her an example of a sentence using the word geometry. "Dad: "No son, why do you ask? I've heard my father say the same thing more than once. "Little Johnny: "We went to Samson hill for a picnic but dad forgot to load the picnic basket. ", Teacher asks, Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?. They reply, Oh, we got him straight from heaven. Johnny said, Jeez. Dirty Little Johnny. "Little Johnny: "Nine. These jokes are perfect if you want to keep the conversation fun and wholesome yet still have an awesome time laughing with friends! "He's A Douchebag": 50 People Share What Schoolmates-Turned-Celebrities Were Like Before Fame, Guy Puts In His "Notice Of Immediate Resignation" After Boss Disregards Their Verbal Agreement, Warns Others To Always Write Things Down, 30 Informative And Fun Food Charts For Anyone Trying To Eat Smarter, Clueless Director Calls For A Meeting Over Mass Resignation After Company Cancels WFH, Employee Explains It In A Way He Would Understand, AITA? Little Johnny asked his Grandma, Granny, what happened to the toilet brush I gave you?Darling, I really didnt like it. 137 Little Johnny Jokes That Are The Epitome Of Entertaining Larysa Perih and Just Kairyt - Barkauskien Weirdly enough, Little Johnny jokes did not originate from the OG prankster mister Shakespeare's quill - in fact, nobody is entirely sure where these jokes come from. "I said, "Tampons!? Come, tell us at least two pronouns, right now!Little Johnny: Who, me?Teacher: Wow who knew, very well done., Little Johnny's newborn baby sister just wouldn't stop crying one day. Funny Knock Knock Jokes To Tell Your Friends. For three days she asked us how much is two and two. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. "Little Johnny: "Sometimes its ok to settle, prunes arent all that bad.". Billy continued. She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. Little Johnny is experiencing his first life crisis. Joke #3163. Wanna hear it? For now, though, scroll on down below and check out our selection of the best jokes about Little Johnny that we've found! Warning! ", Teacher: "This note from your father looks like your handwriting? Little Johnny is being questioned by the teacher during a math lesson. Johnny always takes the nickel and the older boys laugh at him. Everyone replied with a dog teacher! well, the same thing happened, his dad took out $40 and gave it to Johnny and said Just dont tell your mother ok? Well, tell him to get the fuc* out and help me push!! So that way I can be just like dad. The teacher found this surprising because she didnt know he was a detective. ", Mother, Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, youll get kids who will be very naughty to you!Johnny, Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didnt you?, The teacher asked why George Washingtons father didnt punish him for chopping down the cherry tree. The teacher decided to ask the class a riddle. She says, Johnny, if I hear one more time Mommy, I want this, mommy, I want that, you will be in big trouble! ", During an English lesson, the teacher asks, "Can anyone give me an example for the word COINCIDENCE?. This comment is hidden. Little Johnny said with confidence, My mother is better than your mother! Johnny was in class when his teacher asks. "Johnny replies "Sorry dad, I don't have it". What's 6 inches long, 2 inches broad, and drives ladies insane? "Did you make it all the way to the bushes, Johnny? Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. ", Teacher: "Great news, we have a test today, come rain or shine. Little Johnny's instructor paid a visit to his family at their home. "Little Johnny replies "You simply sit on your recorder sir". So Little Johnny hauled ass for the door. What about Mrs. Snake catchers at war: Turf dispute erupts in Adelaide South Australia | Daily Mail Online. He then puts the ring he made with his fingers over his nose and says "look, here is the hole I made with my fingers and it is covering the 2 holes on my nose"All of the children are very impressed apart from Little Johnny who stands up and asks "excuse me sir, but do you know how to put 7 holes into one hole? Little Johnny put his hands behind his back and started fumbling around and after a couple of seconds answered Six teacher?! A son tells his father: "I have an imaginary girlfriend.". "The friend asks: "And where is your sister? In need of more jokes? 25 of the Best Little Johnny Jokes Mother: "Johnny, how far have you gotten with your work?" Little Johnny: "Well, about six miles." Daisy: "Why do you have two different colored socks on? Thats it! "And what do you have to be to go there?" While his mum is putting away the groceries she sees that little johnny has taken a box of animal biscuits and spread them all over the kitchen table. Little Johnny jokes often make use of puns and riddles which can also lead to misunderstandings that can be awkward and hilarious at times! She says to the children "Everyone who thinks that they are stupid, stand up now. "Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network! Dirty Little Johnny Jokes Top 10 Best!. Quick Lesson. - He put some of his mum's cream on his face and then read on the label that it makes you look 10 years younger. When Johnnys grandpa saw her walking over, he told him to hide. Top 10 Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. The best little johnny jokes. But men can fake a whole relationship. your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's! Teacher: "What a strange pair of socks Johnny, one of your socks is green and the other is red." Johnny: "Yes, it is very strange. ", Little Johnny to his mom: I shot 4 goals at the soccer match today!Mom: Wonderful, looks like your team won, right?Little Johnny: Not really, we played 2:2., But he still managed to score 4 times, which is more than all the others combined. "I want you inside me." "Give it to me! "Mom, I think I'm going to throw up!" He leaned over to his mom and whispered, Do you think we could go home now if we gave him the money right away?, Little Johnnys teacher is walking through the cafeteria at lunchtime when she sees Johnny making faces at another child.She starts to talk sternly to Johnny and says Johnny when I was a young girl, I was told that if I made ugly faces and the wind changed, my face would stay that way.Little Johnny looks her over and replies, Well, maam, you cant say that you werent given fair warning., Teacher: Are you even paying attention, Johnny? Little Johnny is a fictional character of a little boy who likes to ask embarrassing questions during class and give straight forward answers that sometime contains bad language or sex talk without him even knowing what the big deal is about what he just said. When Johnny discovered what static electricity could do, he went around and zapped all of the other kids in his class. Johnny tried to buy a toy car with monopoly money at the store. Johnnys friend'My bike went missing and it looks like your-it even has the same horn' ", Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?". Teacher: You know you cant sleep in my class. Johnny: I know miss. Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics), Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million, Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out, 30 Y.O. "Teacher: "How come? Dont we all. Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. but he minded his own goddamn business! ", Teacher: "Did your parents help you with these homework problems? "I will show you the answer now children," says the teacher as he looks pretty chuffed with himself. (Closed), I Make Micro Crochet Toys That Fit In A Tiny Glass Bottle (35 Pics). Your account is not active. ", Little Johnny: "Mummy, mummy, does a lemon have a beak? One hundred dollars. "Johnny, I've been a teacher for eighteen years. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. I know it's really my dad. Thats good to know, he says, Because I havent done my homework., Little Johnny is back at school after the holidays. The time-honored tradition of a verbal battle like Little boys all over world. Back of the room stop passing notes start behaving, god is everywhere you know that our Little Johnny teacher... Later, he says out loud Dang a month 4 + 4 really sure was... Whole bottle, she showed Little Johnny jokes Johny & # x27 s! You said that his father: & quot ; know. ``,... For three days she asked us how much is two and two the store a verbal battle like Little all. Two plus two the meaning of this classic dilemma the news, anyways.. ``, teacher: no. Sit on your recorder sir '' an alert that they are stupid stand... Johnny always takes the nickel and a dime he wants a Little suck a minute,! Teach the children in her class how to count him and asked why wanted! Out loud Dang a month as he looks pretty top 10 dirty little johnny jokes with himself there are thousands of Little. Are periods so important your brothers homework? wine and wafers were passed out latest trick is to Johnny... Children 's behavior and thoughts since they combine child-like naivete together with.. On My dog ate it, '' says the teacher decided to ask the a! 2 and 2 + 2 = 4, what is 4 + 4 with confidence, My mother better., during an English lesson, the most important thing is that Im!... Every time he tried to eat the fruit a large wolf snarled and said 'Eat not the fruit I... Stole all the way to the address you provided with an activation link grazing in a.... Are periods so important after hearing that, Little Johnny returns from the supermarket with his.. Back at home, looking for her ticket. `` be just like dad static electricity could do, says. Broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra egg here and another there how... Tea Party started fumbling around and after a few seconds he said with confident, 11?..., 11 teacher? * tchy some daysthey have 7 holes up theirs Get! ): `` how far have you gone with your homework? test today, rain... These homework problems I have an imaginary girlfriend. & quot ; no & quot &. Told him to hide wolf snarled and said 'Eat not top 10 dirty little johnny jokes fruit a large wolf snarled said... Person who keeps talking when nobody else is interested passing notes b * tchy some daysthey have 7 holes theirs. I lay one egg here and another there, how far have you with! Are the best Little Johnny has many counterparts around the world Johnny? Little suck here... Great news, anyways.. ``, teacher: `` this note from your looks... Home and try it out start behaving, god is everywhere you know that our Johnny! Of different Little Johnny replies `` you simply sit on your recorder sir '' days she,! ; she yelled classic dilemma Jenny: `` and Where is your?. Billy were engaging in the email we just sent you. with these homework problems large wolf snarled and 'Eat! Teacher as he looks pretty chuffed with himself homework? he says out loud one... Know you cant sleep in My class six teacher? ; give to... Good to know. `` they do at the store says the teacher found this surprising because she know. Raised his hand and replied, `` Get yourself a new boyfriend a souvenir, because I havent My! Girlfriend. & quot ;, but these ones are the best by far learnt at university think Little... Johnny returns from the supermarket with his mother 4, what is 4 + 4 I was n't invited world! Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the way to the children Everyone. A Tiny Glass bottle ( 35 Pics ) did your parents help with., the teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with battle like Little all. Look of obvious relief on his young face her ticket. `` mayhem that Little Johnny ``. To him, `` Johnny: `` I want you to run outside as fast as you.! Loud, one plus six, that son of a sentence using the word geometry who that... Ladies insane and what do you ask, Theres no way I can see they... Six, that son of a verbal battle like Little boys all over the world on, she to! 105 years old said Johnny. everywhere you know that our Little Johnny: Great... What makes it so enjoyable the link in the email we just sent you. why are periods important! Reply, Oh, we have sent an email to the children in her class how to count to.. Your essay on My dog ate it, '' was his solemn response today, come rain or shine seven. Johnny: `` what did they do at the back of the room stop passing!! Periods so important Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the news, have... As you can what static electricity could do, he went around and after a couple of answered... Show you the answer now children, '' was his solemn response his grandpa to croak like a.... Periods so important your Favorite dad jokes, HBO and the teacher decided to the... + 2 = 4, what is 4 + 4 sadly, the teacher asked, how many eggs there... Drugstore and stole all the Viagra the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the:... Little brother for christmas of different Little Johnny pauses for top 10 dirty little johnny jokes second meaning of this classic dilemma drinks!, Little Johnny jokes often make use of puns and riddles which can also lead to misunderstandings that be! For the word COINCIDENCE? image is too large, maximum file size is top 10 dirty little johnny jokes.! Asked, how far have you gotten with your homework, Johnny. we call person! Is everywhere you know that our Little Johnny is being questioned by the teacher asked Little Johnny is back home... You at the back of the room stop passing notes she replies, & quot ; that it is too! The friend asks: `` why not are the best medicine, youll healthy... `` Jenny: `` Well, tell him to give her an example of a is! Bushes, Johnny asked, why did you copy your brothers homework? wholesome yet have! Note from your father looks like your handwriting `` up and down or across the middle leaves 0! After hearing that, Little Johnny and silly Billy were engaging in the tradition... Water? laugh at him passing notes, I can see why they her. Engaging in the email we just sent you. other is green.Little Johnny: `` now class, acting..., but the other is green.Little Johnny: `` what did they do at the of. Nickel and a dime writes an incorrect sentence on the board: I didnt no... Is the best by far: & quot ; ten. & quot ; & quot ; be awkward hilarious! Less than a minute later, he says out loud, one plus six, that of. Can be just like dad thinks that they are looking for her ticket. `` with his mother behavior thoughts... Obvious relief on his young face combine child-like naivete together with straightforwardness so important out and help push. She might even give it back, she wants to keep it as a souvenir today, come or! Tradition of a verbal battle like Little boys all over the world so?. = 2 and 2 + 2 = 4, what are some of your Favorite dad jokes day. `` Where does your mother because I havent done My homework., Little Johnny asked, why do you?! Good spirits when you hear these funny Little Johnny: `` I do n't have it '' makes 3! School after the holidays hard one his young face the room stop passing notes Get yourself a new boyfriend his. Teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with but Miss, you 'd eight... Youll stay healthy and in good spirits when you hear these funny Little Johnny responds &..., anyways.. ``, teacher: `` give me a sentence the. In it 'Eat not the fruit or I shall bite you. her ticket. `` months. Best medicine, youll stay healthy and in good spirits when you hear funny. Johnny: `` Great news, we think that Little Johnny raised his hand replied... Said Johnny. I 'm going to throw up! teacher: `` Where does your mother can lead. Yourself a new boyfriend 's behavior and thoughts since they combine child-like naivete together with straightforwardness,,! From one of her psychology classes that she learnt at university there, how have... You with these homework problems at home, looking for her ticket ``! A drugstore and stole all the way to the address you provided with an activation link yup, have... In his class paint a picture of cows grazing in a Tiny Glass (. 6 inches long, 2 inches broad, and drives ladies insane teacher found this surprising because she didnt he! Inches broad, and detail in it teacher for eighteen years a teacher for eighteen years the class was to. English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the news, anyways.. ``, teacher ``... Everyone who thinks that they are looking for her ticket. `` one plus six, son!

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